Sunday, August 18, 2013

101 Things you didnt know about me

I just wanted to share and let people know things about me.Not like i am a famous person or anything.We all have these little things that makes us all same in different ways .So this is my 101 :






1) I am a kid at heart.

2) I was once beaten up by 12 guys all surrounding me after i tried to help out a friend.

3) i have a tattoo that makes real deep sense to me but it seems totally ridiculous to people around.

4) I have been in true love once ,i mean i still am at the moment.


5) I know most go through it but i have suffered with depression and anxiety most of my life and still affects my every day life.I could never talk about it openly and left it untreated

6) I love old hindi songs and humm along with it every chance i get.

7) I had been nick named as Gunda once as a kid cause i was quite naughty.

8) I still have a fear of hitting any other person.More than that i have this fear that i would get hit and i would be in a panic state and be all numb to do anything about it.

9) I cry for most little thing and i get very emotional for little things like a sad movie.

10) I have tried weed,sniffing and major drinking.I have not tried eating pills cause i have a fear that i might OD.I still smoke and drink occasionally.

11) I have never felt the feeling of losing some one in life and thus take every one for granted.

12)  I have had bad self esteem my whole life and do struggle with it every day.

13) Being the youngest in siblings do leave you in the shadows and makes it hard to shine on your own.


14) I would choose love over money.


15) I play a lot of sports but not that good at it,but i do enjoy and try to play every time.

16) I used to take every game as challenge and used to take it over serioudly ending up beating myself ,i dont do anymore.


17) My dream is to get a house in Thimphu just like every one else here , most of us though.

18) I dont flirt or cheat ,i am not really good at it also but main reason i dont is i care too much for my girlfriend and cant picture how it would hurt her so i dont.

19)I do beleive in soul mate now.


20) My biggest fear i believe is Public speaking.

21) I think i would be a great dad,I meani want to be.

22) I always choose the quiet preety type over any loud bold confident beautiful one. i feel it just clicks with me.

23) I have never had a pet, I would love a dog someday i could call it mine.

24) I have never heard my family say i love you one another.I know it through the care and action we put in for each other.Though it is hard when we as a family take each other for granted.

25) I really care for my family and would anything for them but mos times its so gloomy and everyones upset over things i cant stand it.

26) I donot like my work but i make effort to do good at it and i do ok for now.

27)I once stole from a grocery shop in town  and proudly showed it to my parents at home.My mom whooped my ass so bad i never did again.

28)I wish i could win the basketball tournaments here but now am getting used to not winning it and saying its ok.

29)I have lots of friends but not a close one.I used to party all time but never had a close fren.

30) I want to take public speaking classes.

31)I want to be an artist any kind actor painter , writer , musician.

32) I want to live abroad once,I have lived in Thimphu my whole life and studied in India for 3 years . I want to live abroad as in over seas just to get over my consciousness over speaking in english.

33) I still believe my parents think of me as being useless and dumb but now i am ok with it and just live on my own terms.

34) i love romance and feel its the best part of a relationship but i am still learning all that.


35) I love the feeling of being in love.

36) I have had a sibling sibling pass away > i was a kid i dont remember much.

37) I have a tough time managing money and am broke most times.Being a government worker doesnt pay much at all.

38) I used to get late for everythingand still struggle being one time for work.

39) I once had this diarrhea problem and went ahead ahead with my business right next to the street cause i couldnt control it. I was in my 12 standard.

40) I still wonder and marvel at how girls sleep around.i still believe in the old school family values.

41) I watched the SECRET and tried it didnt really work for me but helped me a lot with positivity.

42) I meditate every now ad then .

43) I still struggle with anxiety every day.

44) I have had 3 girl friends till now.

45) Once in school , girls decided to play who is good looking in class and rate them.I was voted second in class.I didnt mind cause the first was way too preety to be a guy .It helped me boost my confidence.

46) I internally wish that my blog went like world famous and i made a living over people wanting to read it.

47) I stare at girls every time when i am driving around and feel good about myself when i see them intrested.

48) I used to struggle with sleeping and used to lay till morning getting depressed.

49) I have cut my self on the wrist and used to think about suicide all the time.

50) I lost my virginity very late and used to lie to frens making them beleive i was not.

51) I was always an average student and average in everything and i am ok with it.

52) I am in love and really hope to marry this girl

53) I really do believe she was sent for me

54)I wish i had a killer body but i eat way too much and a lil potbelly is starting now.I still cant stop eating.

55)I eat Baba and i like it .Though i have tried to stop it cause it gives me anxiety.

56) I am real introvert and prefer being inside most times and enjoy being in small groups when i am out,

57) I get major panic atttacks when i have to do presentation and i struggle with anxiety for weeks.

58) I had to suddenly change school as a kid and i belive i got lot of psychological problems cause i was the one one in a new class and i had to cope with it.I am doing dealing with it for now.

59) I really want to go to Australia to earn major massive money.

60) My next goal is build a house after that i might start relaxing.

61) I love listening to deep songs while driving.I noticed that i listened to sad songs and it made me even more depressed so now i have changed to happy tune

62) I enjoy the bitter sweet feeling of being depressed and crave for it at times.

63) At the moment  i am still in the phase of having a hairstyl like the kid of terminator ,or the young leonardo or brad pitt in meet joe black.




Friday, August 16, 2013

A letter from good feelings.

Here is the second topic from my 30 days topic list of the challenge. Issuing an apology

Dear You

I am sorry today.I am sorry for you.I hope you get this and hope it makes you feel better.

I am sorry for all the rough nights you went through.All the constant struggle you have been through. Don't let all your pain make the sparkle go away, let it shine, let it glow.
I wish life was all rainbows but we go through the dark shadows to realize what colors we need to make it worth coloring for.

I  remember the first time you got your heart broken,Man!!was it tough to let go.
All you could do was cry your heart out.
I am sorry that you got your trust broken.I am sorry you learned the hard way, but there are always better things waiting for you.Trust me i know,I have been there.All you gotta do is learn how to pick the right cup of happiness that suits your taste.The kind of ones that fill your heart with so much happiness,your heart wont even have a scar of a crack left.

The ones that makes you smile when you are lost in your thoughts,The ones that make you dream of a future together. The ones that makes u giggle all night on the phone.The ones that makes you stare deep into an evening twilight and lets you know that everything is going to be all right.


I am sorry that dream job of yours got taken by some one else.I wish i could make it happen.Sometimes dreams do get shattered ,you don't always get what you want in life .All the paintings you made as child to grow up to be painter doesn't always sell ,You do not always make a living out of things that you love.You grow up to do a boring job day in and day out. I have found a trick though, listen real careful now,here it goes.If you start liking your job It doesn't seem so bad,the ride is all worth while. I don't mean now to give up on your dreams, go ahead make that master piece, make the winning goal at your own pace.Always keep trying keep your heads up in the cloud but your foot stuck in the sand.

Life is not a race,You dont have to sing like The fray infront of every one.Just grab a guitar ,get a cup of coffee ,close your eyes  on a lazy evening and humm.I am sure things will be all right for now.





 I am sorry your lover doesn't seem so interested in you now, though you give it your best every time.The sparkle doesn't seem to be there any more.Years of togetherness has made it stale for you.You are tired of giving every day but getting nothing in return.I know how it feels i have been there with you,That night when you cried your eyes out and wanted some one to hold on to but all you felt was the coldness of the winter. Trust me i wish i could make it all good for you , I ma not sure though that every time you curse at your lover every time you nag your lover it helps make your life better.Instead of crying nagging,feeling ptitful i really wish you would do one thing for me now.
Love yourself first, whether it is the good side or the bad side of you love yourself.live on dreams ,take pride and happiness in little things.Then soon you realize that you are spreading your love.Share it.Share it like its your duty.You make it happen day in and out.For love is to let go of all self comfort and make others feel blessed to have you around .So make it happen.Give it your all give it your best ,all good things will work out all bad things since you love your self you will find better ways to love.

I am sorry that at times you dont have anything to do and at times you feel like you cant do anything done right.I am sorry you feel so low looking at yourself you cant hardly stand up tall .Dont ,my friend dont.For we all got our own roles to play in this world.Some become magicians,some politicians.You have a role to play to.In this role you donot have to impress your father,you dont have to compete with your siblings.When all around people are getting in the race to get the best job ,the best car ,your role is to watch a cloud flow by.Trust me i know its hard at times though you must work hard you must earn to make a living never forget about the little things ,The little things that make you happy.
Remember as a child when you wake up early looking forward to the day.the sound of rain on the roof top.the wind in your face,The smile of your grandparents.The laughter of little children.I hope i made you smile now.I hope you feel better now.

I am sorry i am not always there for you ,I am sorry i get lost at times But just now this moment i want you to embrace me .


Thank you
Yours forever

Good feeling